ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Martin Andersen was searching for a church to join when he came across the website of Experience, a new congregation meeting in town. “There were lots of pictures of happy people, a calendar full of events, cool web features and audio,” he says. “I was impressed.”
But when Andersen visited Experience on Sunday morning, he was surprised to discover “eighteen people gathered in a public school gymnasium.”
FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — Ever since 81-year-old Mae Hodges bought a used Volvo, “strange-looking people” have been approaching her around town to pay compliments.
“They tell me, ‘Thank you for being a pioneer in our movement,’” Hodges says. “I have no idea what they mean.”
The flow of appreciation began after she started driving the nondescript Volvo wagon, which bears several bumper stickers. One sticker shows a multi-colored flag, another a pink equal sign, both of which Hodges found “very cheery.”
NEW CASTLE, Del. — Sam and Victoria Gutman have always been smart shoppers, but they have gone to another level during the recent recession, buying automobiles, computers and more from distressed owners. “God continues to bless us,” says Sam. “All things really do work for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose. We’re living proof.”
Last week they bought a Lexus coupe from a man who lost his job — and pension — when his employer collapsed. “He was weeping when he gave me the keys,” Sam says. “I got that car for a third of what it’s worth. Beautiful leather seats, new tires. God is so good.”
TOPEKA — Jon and Darla Crocker, who dutifully abstained from sex during their 14-month courtship, have remained abstinent after marriage and plan to do so indefinitely. “If it was holy before, it must be double-holy afterwards,” Darla says.
They have now completed 25 months of marriage without any sexual contact, going about their normal lives, jobs and social calendar with no hint of relational strain.
FRESNO — After repeated conflicts with his church board about the direction of Family Life Center, pastor Dave Chandler decided to leave the church. But on his way out he used a little-known clause in the bylaws to singlehandedly hire a new worship leader: Bill MacNerny who specializes in “alien folk music” and “tunes for chickens and other intelligent beings.” MacNerny was last employed as a street performer in Key West, Fla., and has made several albums of himself playing the ukelele and making barnyard sounds.
“We’re in a true bind,” says board member Jeff Garrety. “We couldn’t believe when this bozo showed up to lead worship.”
WINSTON-SALEM — Julie and Bob Clark were stunned to receive a letter from their church in July asking them to “participate in the life of the church” — or worship elsewhere.
“They basically called us freeloaders,” says Julie.
“We were freeloaders,” says Bob.
In a trend that may signal rough times for wallflower Christians, bellwether mega-church Faith Community of Winston-Salem has asked “non-participating members” to stop attending.
GROTON, Conn. — Pastor Leo Thompson of Grace Community Church has begun to worry that the associate he hired three years ago is trying to win over the church, one announcement at a time.
“I gave him the task of giving Sunday morning announcements,” Thompson says, “but he drags it out with lots of jokes, and gives a mini-sermon with outline. By the time I take the podium, the people are tired out.”
